About a month ago, we received our packet from the Dept. of Social Services. It contained about 100 pages of paperwork to fill out and we had a time limit on when it had to be turned in. We had 7 days for most of it and 45 for some of the more insignificant items. There were so many questions they asked...they wanted to know about our family / medical / social / professional / educational / criminal backgrounds.
Here are some of the things we have had to do:
*Mini psych. evaluation (i.e. "How do you feel about your spouse?" "How do you feel about the way you were disciplined as a child?", etc.)
*HIV / hepatitis / TB testing, chem. panel, cholesterol check
*Full physicals (for all three of us)
*Fingerprint and background check
*Some of our friends have been contacted and asked to fill out reference papers on us
*DMV printout
*Marriage / birth certificates
*Marriage / divorce paperwork for Zack's birthmom (that was interesting tracking down)
It amazes me the hoops the state makes an adoptive couple jump through. I can understand the process, but at the same time it makes me angry to think that a meth-addicted mom can have 7 kids and, as long as she stays under the radar of CPS, she will never be questioned on her ability to parent.
We have our first home study on December 3rd. Before the social worker comes, we have to install smoke detectors in every bedroom (we only have them in the master bedroom and hallway right now), we had to buy a fire extinguisher, we will have to move all of our medicines and chemicals to a locked cabinet up high where Zack can't reach and we have put first aid kits in the house and in the car.
This process is so much more detailed than we ever thought, but that's okay because we already have what matters to us the most - - our son.
As for Zack, he is growing so quickly! He is almost 10 weeks old now. He smiles a lot and loves to be talked to. He babbles and coos when you talk to him and focuses on your eyes and your mouth when you talk to him. He is still addicted to his paci, but we don't care. It's actually kind of cute. He refuses to sleep or even nap in his crib or bassinet, so he sleeps in his swing all night. He doesn't complain, so we don't try and mess with his routine. He is very strong and can support himself with his legs for about 10 seconds. He can hold his head up well when you sit him up-right and has strong hands (I have the bruises to prove it! - - he hasn't figured out how NOT to pinch yet). He still has the little curly patch on the top of his head, which we call his "soul patch" and it is getting a little bigger. He loves staring at the lights on our Christmas tree and often talks to the giraffe and zebra rattles on his swing. Ever since he was born, he has had this "turkey call" sort of noise that he makes to let you know he is going to go into a full-on fuss really soon. He has recently found his hair and loves to run his fingers through it and play with it when he's tired. He wakes up every morning doing his turkey call, but once we say good morning to him, he gives us a big smile.
I don't think Rich or I ever thought it was possible to love anyone this much. I feel so honored to be called his "mom" and I take pride in raising him with love and respect and pure admiration for how he came to be.
Lastly, I wanted to share with you a book that we received as a gift from one of our friends in our infertility group. It's called "A Blessing From Above":
Once upon a time there lived a mother kangaroo who had an empty pouch.
Every night before she went to sleep, she prayed that someday her pouch would be filled with a baby to love and hold and care for.
One day, Momma-Roo went for a walk.
Along the way, she saw a pair of butterflies fluttering about in a field of flowers.
She later came upon a mother duck leading her ducklings to a pond.
Next she spied a mama and papa squirrel gathering acorns for their family.
She looked forward to the day she could share such wonderful sights and activities with a baby of her own.
Momma-Roo was getting tired. She decided to rest underneath the branches of a beautiful willow tree.
When she looked up she saw a bluebird nest stuffed full of baby bluebird eggs.
One by one, the eggs began to hatch. The baby bluebirds stretched their wings and cried for food.
The nest was getting very crowded.
Just as the last and littlest bluebird cracked open his shell and stepped into this world...
...one of his brothers stretched his wings for the first time.
Before the littlest one knew what was happening, he was bumped from the nest and falling...
......down
.......down
.....down
...straight into Momma-Roo's pouch!
The baby bluebird peeked out from the pouch and gazed up at Momma-Roo.
"Hello, Mommy," he chirped.
The mother bluebird looked down and saw her littlest one. She knew her nest was not big enough for all her chicks. It made her happy to see her baby in such a warm, cuddly place.
"Hello, Little One," said Momma-Roo.
Then she hugged her blessing from above. "At last! My very own baby!" she cried joyfully. "I will cherish you and love you forever!"
On their way back home, Momma-Roo and Little One frolicked through the field of flowers.
They stopped for a sip of water at the pond.
They shared grass and berries with each other.
They were so happy!
Now, every night before they fall asleep, Momma-Roo and Little One thank God for all their blessings....but especially for each other.
"In love He destined us for adoption to Himself..." ~ Ephesians 1:5
2 comments:
This is my favorite adoption book! I need to get it for Braiden.
We will keep praying the adoption process goes as smoothly as possible. I know it is hard, but try not to freak out about the social worker visit(I know easier said than done). You do so much to your house ready and then they don't even look at the things you think they would or should. I think I actually invited our social worker to look in the closets, because I cleaned them so well and wanted her to know it.
Can't wait until our next group meeting, so we can talk pictures of the boys and Naomi!!!
Valerie.
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